Jumping the Dragon's Gate

I read something today that deeply touched me, even while I'm still thinking about our beloved prophet's passing: carp that jump the dragon's gate.

It is a n ancient Chinese Myth that a carp (a less-than-desirable fish, as I understand it) who is willing to make the journey and 'jump over the dragon's gate' becomes a dragon.  I remember when I was younger and still deeply involved in pokemon, there was one called Magikarp, the worst pokemon, who couldn't attack, only splash, but, if allowed to earn experience, would evolve into Gyarados, on of the most powerful pokemon in the game.

I find that very fitting and almost scary, especially now.

I've been struggling with thoughts about my own worth- I know, in an eternal sense, that I am a priceless son of an everlasting God, but in the short term, things are more difficult.  God doesn't just hand us a living, much less our destiny, on a platter, we have to work for it, to give our all to earn it- and I feel like I'm flunking out royally.  I can't focus.  I am distracted easily, especially by the internet (what do you think I ought to be doing now? ;-) )  I don't seem to be able to consistently deliver in my classes, and I'm altogether a bit down and out.  I realize a good psychiatrist might help with some of those, but I'm reluctant to go for money and personal reasons- I know I'd get medicated, and I'd like to avoid that.

I feel as if I need to jump the Dragon's Gate.  I feel like a very little, powerless fellow who needs help in order to get where he needs to go, but I also feel that I need to swim by my own power now.  I need to push myself beyond my limits and graduate to a new level of power.  Jump the Dragon's Gate.

That's the moral of that story, that an individual who goes for broke and does all he or she can will reach great heights.  Having always had an affinity for Eastern Dragons- especially Celestial ones, I'm even more susceptible to the myth.  My brother brought me a statue of a Celestial Dragon, and I've always envisioned it as me.  Methinks it's time to put aside my excuses and pursue that end.

"Watch ye, stand fast in the faith, quit you like men, be strong"

1 Corinthians, Chapter 16, verse 13

In other words, Jump the Dragon's Gate.

The Passing of a Prophet

I have just been informed that Gordon Bitner Hinckley, President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Saints, of which I am a member, has passed away.

I am deeply saddened but greatly consoled. I admire President Hinckley more than any other living man, except perhaps my own father. Even though a prophet to millions, even to the world, I always felt as if his counsel was directed straight from God to me. I listened and tried to follow each and everything that he said. Rather than trying to find exception to the doctrines he expounded on, I tried to find reason why I should also follow his counsel.

I did not do nearly as well as I might have at all of that, but I am so comforted that I tried. I know that any person who follows the counsel of President Hinckley and now of his (extremely likely) successor, Thomas S. Monson, will find greater joy, peace, freedom (yes, very much freedom), and even power in their lives. I know this because I live that counsel as best I can, and it works. Beyond that anecdotal evidence, I have almost 12 million other such cases, and the witness of God to my very soul. I know that those who follow the counsel of these people, who are prophets, will have life more abundantly- that, is, be happier and more free for longer.

I loved President Hinckley like a father, in a certain way. He was the Prophet of my youth, and he helped me through more than one difficult spot. I remember when he called all the youth of this church together for a huge teleconference. He prayed for us. I can't remember all the words, but I remember the occasion. I remember how I felt- deeply peaceful and pricked to the core. That was one of the times when I went through a lot of changes in my life, and I've felt the dividends of making those changes. They good, Let me tell you!

Having declared in all solemnity that I know the President Hinckley was a Prophet and that his successor will be one, and that their words are true and of God, I move on to a lighter note.

I feel a little odd having the address of my Blog be Magus of Darkness and testifying of God and Light, but I suppose it's from a habit I picked up a while ago- even though I love humorous pretentiousness, I hate sincere forms of it. I love to Roleplay at MUDs and such, but I decided I couldn't roleplay what I'm actually trying to be- a good and honest man. I know I'm really just a silly fellow, but I needed to do something to make it so I wouldn't set myself up as a light, rather than pay respect to the real light- God. I think that's part of why I love President Hinckley so much (love and not loved, yes, that's right- he's not really all that far away)- I don't think there was a pretentious bone in that man's body. He loved and learned and grew and led, but all without making me ever, ever feel , from anything he said, wrote, or did, that he looked down on all us wee little mormons at the bottom of the tree.

In the end, this Church will go on because it is true and God has set it up right, so that no one man will cause its fall, but president Hinckley, gone to join his dear sweet Marjorie, will be sorely missed among us. His humor, his wit, his intelligence, his wonderful tolerance, peace, and joy, ans especially the twinkle in his eye will be missing for a little while. But God will give the next prophet exactly the direction the Church needs for the coming times- there will certainly be trying times to come, but when your forebears already lived through frozen death, starvation, mob killings, tarring and feathering, all in the name of religion, like ours and so many other have, you feel okay to go through whatever life throws at you.

President Hinckley taught me that. Or rather, God taught me that, through his prophet- which means 'mouthpiece'- Gordon Bitner Hinckley.

God bless you, Brother Hinckley, and Rest now for awhile.
I can almost see the smile on your face at seeing Marjorie again. :-)

Spend WHAT Money?

I am always astonished at economic news these days.

I keep reading about economic fixes that are supposed to make shoppers spend more money, to end the recession, etc. etc. etc. And I must continually ask myself, "Do these people all have their heads up their butts?" If you'll forgive my crassness, I'll explain:

I am not an economist, and only in general terms do I have an understanding of the stock market, but I understand microeconomics very well (in my own mind, anyway). I read all of these incredible economic articles over the holidays about how consumers should SPEND money as much as possible, and that would generate power in the economy to overcome the mortgage crisis.

That is a load of bull.

I was sitting on my bank account, which, after Christmas, counting credit used, was significantly negative, and wondering, "What money do they want us to spend? Do they imagine, somehow in their world of wildly inaccurate mathematical models, that I HAVE money to spend? Do they intend me to use credit?" Like the good American consumer, and newly married man, that I am, I DID dip into my credit. Guess what? I will now pay the bills, my debts will be bid on by far away buyers and sellers, and I will pay them back, with interest (although hopefully less than my credit card companies hope I will be paying- I use an accelerated schedule), and the world will be wonderful again. Right?

Of COURSE NOT!

Merciful heavens, if we all continue to spend money that we don't have, as silly economic news articles urge us to, then we will have ANOTHER subprime mortgage crisis on our hands.

Let me explain:

I have three credit cards. My wife and I make around 35,000 a year combined, because I am going to school- she makes the money, not I- it would be a bit, thought not too much, higher if I also worked full time. I imagine, in my little paradigm, that economists look at the amount of credit available to consumers when they describe their plans to boost the economy through consumer spending. But they don't consider that the same thing is happening with credit that happened with subprime mortgages- an illusory benefit that one day disappears- as the current crisis shows us. Of the three credit cards, one has a 15,000 limit. At that cards interest rate, we would NEVER be able to handle payments on even HALF that limit. What on earth is that? So many standards are flying around (credit card companies likely don't intend us to approach that limit, many economists likely expect us to treat the entire 15,000 as disposable income) causes chaos, and we will pay for it.

In short, in this very disorganized and rushed diatribe: We are mortgaging our future economy by trying to make our current one not enter a recession. Credit is nice, but we are using it WRONG and the average balance someone carries is a very, very bad thing (I believe it's around 9000 dollars) and WILL cause us economic woe.

The entire subprime crisis was caused by someone deciding that subprime mortgages are no less likely to be repaid than ordinary ones. Someone has also decided, I think, that these balances are not intrinsically harmful. They are dead wrong, and the economy will play itself out to show them so.

We, as a nation, have got to learn to live within our means, and then, and only then, will our economy settle down to where it should be, and not to unrealistic, and even outright fake, highs boosted by fake money in the form of wrongly used credit.

That will be all, cadet. MARCH!